Bleach Christmas 2
by Alex McM
Summary: It's that time of year again. Ichigo is having more bad luck and Rukia is acting strange again. Last Christmas was a trial, will this Christmas be a nightmare? Contains adult themes, coarse language and a stocking full of crack  Not the drug, the humour
1. Santa Suits and Girl Scouts

_**Bleach Christmas 2**_

Ah, another year, another christmas story. I hope you enjoy this little present and I'll try and get this one finished by Christmas this time. This story contains frequent coarse language and suggestive themes. BUt if you've read my first Christmas story you know what to expect. If not, prepare yourself. 

It was winter and the snow coated the treetops and clogged chimneys all over town. Children skipped along the frost, covered paths while singing public domain songs that all had tie-ins with a mysterious fat bloke who only comes once a year. (Poor bastard, I think doctors can cure that...Right, where were we?)

Anyway, all around town decorations were being strung up as if it were some kind of holiday. Plastic pine trees were erected in shopping malls and there were more flashing lights than Vegas when the sun goes down.

It was...Christmas.

Everyone was celebrating in their own special ways, but within one small home things would be far from different...

"Ichigo! Haven't you heard? It's Christmas!" Rukia was bouncing up and down like a toddler about to sit on Santa's lap. She was wearing a bright red Santa outfit. She was holding another one and was shoving in Ichigo's face.

Ichigo pushed her aside and sighed. "What are you doing?"

"It's Christmas." She said as if it explained everything.

"You already said that. I asked why you were trying to make me eat that silly costume!"

"It's a Santa suit." Rukia stated simply, once again assuming it was answer enough to his questions.

"I can see that. Why do you have a second one?"

"It's for you." Rukia smiled. "Everyone has to wear one on Christmas."

"Huh? No you don't! We didn't wear them last Christmas." Ichigo snapped.

"Last...Christmas?" The words seemed foreign as Rukia said them slowly. "There never was a last Christmas. Stop being silly Ichigo."

"What do you mean? Don't tell me you repressed the memory or something?" Rukia stared blankly at him. He groaned and started to recap last year's events. "You were upset because Byakuya never said merry Christmas so I threw a big party and had him say it to you. How can you not remember? I bought you a bunny!"

Rukia tilted her head to one side like a confused pup. "Was this a dream?"

"No it wasn't a dream- Actually...Was it? No. It was real!" Rukia giggled innocently at his indecision. Ichigo felt a vein pop up on his forehead "What is so funny?"

"You're acting so silly. Now hurry up and put on the Santa suit."

"You don't have to wear a Santa suit on Christmas!" Ichigo roared.

"But everyone's wearing one." Rukia murmured, glancing down at the floor.

"No they aren't. You've just been tricked! Come on, I'll show you."

* * *

"What...The...Hell?" Ichigo stood in the middle of a shopping plaza, surrounded by hundreds of people, every single one of them adorning a Santa suit. They were like an army of jolly citizens, all marching through the snow, their hats swaying in the light breeze.

Ichigo backed away from the plaza and ran into something huge. It felt like a wall but walls don't apologise. This was a person. Ichigo spun on his heels to face Chad. Even he was wearing a bright red suit.

"Chad? You too?"

Chad waved and smiled. "Hi. Where's your Santa suit?"

Ichigo's eyes widened and he ran away, screaming out something trapped halfway between hysterical crying and a pitiful excuse that made no sense.

Chad shrugged and went inside a pet shop to see the birds.

Meanwhile, Ichigo bolted around a corner and onto the main street. He dashed across the road and passed the bridge. As he ran along the riverbank he passed Orihime who stepped out in front of him and stopped him in his tracks.

"Hey Ichigo! Merry Christmas!"

"Hi Orihime." Ichigo muttered, his voice drained of holiday cheer.

"Boy, you don't sound very happy? Is it because you don't have a Santa suit?" That word made a vein pop up on his forehead. Ichigo felt his face grow warm as his cheeks went red.

"No! I don't care about the damn costumes! Anyway, I'm not the only one not wearing one!"

"Yes you are." A voice came from over his shoulder.

Ichigo looked over to Tatsuki who was wearing an identical red skirt and top with white fur trims. Ichigo squealed and ran off, his heart pounding in his chest for a reason he could not understand. He made his way to a quiet alley where he leaned heavily against the wall, panting.

"Why? Why is everyone wearing those things? And why the hell am I feeling embarrassed? Something is very wrong here!" He looked around nervously and bowed his head in shame. "Should I wear one?"

Footsteps came from behind and Ichigo about faced with lightning speed to face Ishida, whose usual Quincy outfit was now dyed red and had white fur around the edges. He strolled casually up to Ichigo and adjusted his glasses.

"Don't you have a Santa suit Kurosaki?" Ishida's voice sounded strangely menacing. "You really are hopeless. I might make one for you." Ichigo oddly enough felt a sense of relief but that was soon shattered when Ishida added, "If you get on your knees and beg."

Ichigo bunched a fist and scowled. "Get out of here!" Ishida vanished without a trace leaving Ichigo to contemplate his situation...

* * *

The next day Ichigo stepped out the door in a Santa suit of his very own, reluctantly wearing one created by Uryu, which had a green cross on the back, as was customary with Quincy attire. He ran down to the plaza and spread his arms wide, singing Christmas carols while showing off his new suit.

Everyone around him wore casual clothes. They stared and pointed and laughed...And laughed...And laughed...And-

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!" Ichigo jumped out of bed and fell face first to the floor. He dragged himself off the floor as fast as possible and wiped the sweat from his brow. "Oh...It was just a dream...Seriously, I don't know what's scarier; Being an outcast or taking Uryu's advice?" He shuddered and walked over to the calendar on his wall.

'December' was printed in large red letter at the top and a picture of the captain commander of Soul Society dressed as jolly old Father Christmas was beneath it. The picture was rather funny, but it wasn't worth the ridiculous price. Ichigo only bought the Soul Society calendar because Rukia wouldn't leave him alone. She was going through a girl scouts phase in January and it resulted in him buying all manner of stupid products.

LAST JANUARY

Ichigo heard a knock on the door and ran downstairs. He opened the door and found Rukia on the doorstep holding a large cardboard box.

"Rukia?"

"Hello, I'm from the Shinigami Women's Association Retail Marketing Service or S.W.A.R.M.S. Would you like to buy some of our fantastic products?"

Ichigo frowned. "What have you got?"

Rukia flashed him a beaming smile and started digging through the box until she found a small catalogue. She handed it to him and then stepped back and waited.

Ichigo flicked through it for a minute and then put it away. "No thank you."

Rukia made a face as if she had just been shot. "What? But we need money to buy new uniforms!"

"Well get the shinigami to buy your crap. Besides I don't have any money, I blew it all on your Christmas party."

The corners of her eyes suddenly glistened as tears formed. Ichigo cursed under his breath and took out his wallet. "Fine! Fine! I'll buy some of your items, just don't cry!"

Rukia clapped and hopped up and down while Ichigo looked through the catalogue again.

"What's the cheapest thing you've got?" Ichigo asked.

Rukia waved a hand at a stack of papers inside the box. "Our Soul Society calendars are half price at the moment." She pulled one out and displayed it like a model from an old advertisement. "Celebrate each month with one of your favourite captains."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, skip the sales pitch just give me the damn thing!"

TWO DAYS LATER

"Hello sir, I'm from the Public Institution of Shinigami Saleswomen or P.I.S.S. Would you like to buy some of our products?"

Ichigo glared at her. "No. I bought your stupid calendar the other day, that's enough."

"But we need to raise money for our soccer team!" Rukia urged him. "Won't you please buy some of our home-made cookies?"

Ichigo frowned. "You have a soccer team?"

Rukia shook her head. "No, but we want one!"

Ichigo cursed and took out his wallet again.

ANOTHER TWO DAYS LATER

Rukia waited on the doorstep, this time in a blue and white striped shirt, a beret and a fake moustache. "Bonjour. I am from the French Union of Cheap, King-Endorsed Retail or F.U.C.K.E.R for short. Would you like some delicious pastries?"

Ichigo stared at her. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Yes it does." Rukia replied in a forced French accent. "Now how about a croissant?"

YET ANOTHER TWO DAYS LATER

Ichigo wrenched the door open and cursed. "What do you want now?"

Rukia backed away and made a hurt face. "Such rudeness. Anyway, I am from Civil United National Trades or-"

Ichigo slammed the door in her face.

OKAY, NOW BACK TO PRESENT DAY

The memories brought an angry mood with it and Ichigo cursed under his breath, careful not to wake his family who were still sleeping. He glanced back at the calendar. There were only a few days left to Christmas.

Last year it was a complete nightmare. Rukia went through a severely depressed period and Ichigo had gone to Hell and back to make her smile, but it cost more than money to do it. He took some beatings, was wrongly accused of indecent assault and suffered the worse luck in his entire life.

This year hopefully, would be different...

The cupboard door began to creak as it was pushed along on its old, rusted hinges. The horrible grating noise sounded like a cat being run over and Ichigo couldn't help but grit his teeth and scrunch up his face as the awful sound stretched on.

Rukia crawled out in school uniform and checked her watch. "Hmm, we're going to be early for once."

Ichigo nodded. "I know, I'm a little creeped out as well."

Rukia cocked her head, incidentally allowing her to see the calendar. Her eyes lit up at the realisation of the holidays being so close. "It's nearly Christmas! Yay!"

Her high spirits brought a smile to his face. This was the Rukia he had grown to love. When she wasn't extorting money from him, or depressed, or angry. When she was happy. Her smile was as beautiful as the cloudless blue sky and the flicker of excitement in her eyes reminded him of the sparkling surface of a lake in summer. It made him feel all warm inside.

"Someone's excited."

Rukia nodded hyperactively. "Of course I am! Christmas is the best time of the year!"

_Maybe...Just maybe, we can have a normal Christmas this year?_

Ichigo looked around anxiously. "So...No depression this time?"

Rukia smiled at him. "Honestly, I got it all out of my system last year. And I have you to thank for it" She leapt out of her cupboard and hugged him. The momentum made them both fall to the floor but only Ichigo took the brunt of it, slamming his head on the floor so hard that the 'thud' actually echoed.

Rukia sat up and placed her hands over her mouth. "Oh no! Ichigo are you alright?"

"ARGH FUCK! What the hell is wrong with you?" Ichigo roared as loudly as he could.

The pounding stampede of footsteps in the hallway brought him back to his senses and he began to panic. "Shit! Get out of here! Quickly!"

Rukia hesitated. "But I-"

"There's no time!" Ichigo pushed her out the window and ignored her screams as she plummeted down two storeys to the ground. He then spun around in time to see his family surge in through the door, into his bedroom.

"Are you alright Ichi?"

"What happened?"

"Who were you talking to?"

Ichigo slapped himself in the forehead and snarled softly under his breath. "Never mind. It's nothing. I've got to go now! Bye!" He charged through them and leapt down the stairs five at a time, only to trip on the last few and face plant into the floor. He crawled on his hands and knees to the front door and then used the doorframe as a leaning post while he scrambled back to his feet.

He rushed around to the side of the house where his bedroom window was located. He found a crater in the snow from where Rukia fell, but she was not there...

"Hmm, maybe she went off to school already? Oh well, I'll catch up to her." Ichigo jogged off to school, taking little notice of it, totally oblivious to the fact that that morning was the start of another traumatic Christmas...


	2. Love, Hate and Cars

2.

Ichigo walked to school alone, Rukia's absence painfully apparent to him. Rukia always walked with him. It was almost a tradition they had been doing it for so long. Now without the little raven-haired shinigami by his side he felt totally isolated.

Still, now wasn't the time to be feeling all mopey. There was a more pressing matter ahead now. For the last few minutes Ichigo had been dwelling on the reasons for Rukia's disappearance. At first it just seemed like an innocent mistake but now that he thought about it...This time of year had been a terrible omen last year...Maybe Rukia went through a depressive cycle every Christmas?

Ichigo dwelled on that until he reached the front gates. Tatsuki was standing beside them, gazing up the road as if waiting for something. Ichigo stepped out in front of her and waved, startling her. She tried to jump back but hit the gate and ricocheted off of it only to knock heads with Ichigo.

The two fell into the snow and both cursed rather loudly, causing mobs of students to crowd around them, anticipating some early morning action.

Tatsuki glared at them. "It was an accident you stupid vultures! Get out of here!"

The kids seemed to not hear so she repeated herself, this time, her eyes blazing. A wall of flames appeared behind the crazed young girl and the students ran for their lives.

The two helped each other up and walked to class, albeit slowly, tenderly rubbing their wounded foreheads.

"Sorry about that?" Tatsuki murmured.

"No, it was my fault. Anyway, who were you waiting for?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, I was waiting for Orihime to get back from the hospital."

"What?" Ichigo stopped in his tracks. "What happened to her?"

"No, no, no. Inoue is perfectly fine! No, she was taking someone else to the hospital!" Tatsuki corrected, waving her hands about hyperactively.

"So who was it?" Ichigo asked uncertainly.

"You really don't know?" Ichigo shook his head causing Tatsuki to let out a deep sigh. "It was Rukia."

All the colour drained from Ichigo's face. Tatsuki failed to notice and went on obliviously.

"Yeah, we found her lying in the snow. Apparently she fell out the window or something. Knocked the wind out of her so Orihime took her to the hospital." She glanced over at her friend. "Do you have any idea how it happened?"

Ichigo tried to reply but his voice became a ridiculous high pitched squeal. "Nope. No idea."

Tatsuki took note of the oddity but decided to put it down to puberty rather than nerves. She rolled her eyes and pretended not to notice the obvious inflection in his voice.

After a deep breath and a loud, spasmodic cough Ichigo's usual tone returned and he continued the conversation. "So, if you were there why didn't you go with her?"

Tatsuki almost laughed but stopped herself. She gazed seriously at Ichigo, her eyes boring deep into his own. "I've made a habit of not getting involved in these sorts of hijinks around Christmas-time. Remember last Christmas?"

Ichigo groaned. "Don't remind me...But this time it will be different, I promise."

Tatsuki frowned. "Are you sure? I mean, Rukia jumped out a two storey window while no-one was looking. As far as I know, Christmas is a time when she becomes deeply depressed. Connect the dots Ichigo."

After a brief pause it finally sank in and Ichigo stepped back, his face going red. "What? How can you even say that? Rukia isn't suicidal!"

"Well she's not retarded either. So how do you suggest she fell out the window, a strong breeze?" She asked snidely.

Ichigo looked around nervously. "Well...I...I might have...Pushed her?"

"Might have? How can- Wait! You pushed her? What the fuck were you thinking? You could have killed her!" Tatsuki grabbed Ichigo by the collar as she scolded him, once again arousing a mob of fight-starved students. Once again Tatsuki's vicious glare scared them off like deer.

"I wasn't thinking alright! I'm sorry!"

"Damn right you weren't thinking! Use your freaking head next time!"

"Alright, alright! Just let me go!" Ichigo roared.

Tatsuki did so and took some calming breaths while she waited for him to dust himself off. In the meantime a skinny figure approached them cautiously. It was Uryu.

"What's going on? I heard shouting coming from over here?"

Ichigo's head jerked instantly upon hearing his voice and he spun himself around to face the bespectacled boy. "You!" He snarled.

Ishida frowned. "Excuse me?"

Ichigo tackled him to the ground and started shaking him. "I don't want a fucking Santa Suit!"

Tatsuki backed away from the odd argument and slipped inside the room without either of them knowing. Meanwhile, their pitiful, irate roars could be heard by the students inside who sat in their chairs, leaning to the side, eavesdropping.

"Well excuse me for having a sense of style!"

"Shut up! I'll kill you!"

The argument went on for quite a while until Miss Oichi walked past them. She stepped over the grappling fools and opened the door. Before she entered she gazed down at them and grinned. "And a merry Christmas to you too!"

The two combatants stopped suddenly and looked up, noticing the inquisitive faces of their entire class and also their teacher. They jumped up to their feet and ran to their desks, only to start whistling non-chalantly.

The two of them hurled the word: "Bitch!" at each other across the room for the first ten minutes of the lesson like a bunch of immature 12 year old girls.

Tatsuki took as much of it as she could stand and then rose form her seat screaming. "Will you both shut the fuck up! People are trying to learn!"

There was silence in the room until one of the students chimed in. "No we're not."

Tatsuki turned on him and roared, "Don't encourage them!" She sat down and looked to the head of the classroom.

Someone at the back giggled before cutting a nerve. "Someone's having their time of the month."

A sizeable vein popped up on her forehead and her body began to shake violently. The flames of wrath once again surrounded her as she leapt up onto her table. "Who said that?"

Miss Oichi laughed innocently. That was a grave mistake. Tatsuki looked over her shoulder. "Did you...Just laugh?" She rasped.

Miss Oichi looked around for help but none offered. She then looked down at her feet. "Oh crap."

"RRRAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!" Tatsuki lunged, clearing four tables in one mighty leap and landing on the teacher's desk she then catapulted into the teacher and began to throttle her.

The student's watched on for a moment before realising that in the chaos they could do whatever they want. A full-scale riot occurred in the class as everyone did as they damn well pleased whether it be talking, tagging the desks, fighting, making out or any other such mayhem.

In seconds a fire was blazing in the back corner of the room, girls were texting hypnotically I their seats or having cat-fights. One entire wall now had a life-size caricature of Miss Oichi and around it were rather cruel messages and a few tags. A circle of boys surrounded those who decided to settle their differences in fights. Papers were flying everywhere and the unholy racket was truly deafening, like a jet engine if it had a vocabulary of curse words.

Ichigo tried to remain in his seat, desperately fighting temptation but when a blue arrow of spirit energy struck through his desk he lost the plot and went into Soul Reaper mode. "Come here Ishida! I'll give you a red suit!" He charged, swinging his massive sword wildly.

All the while, Orihime peered through the slightly opened door at the crazed going-on inside. She slowly backed away and closed the door.

Rukia hovered behind her, a bandage around the top of her head. "So what's going on?"

"Um..." Orihime giggled nervously. "Well...No-one's there!" She lied blatantly, somehow getting away with it. "Why don't we just leave? You can spend the day at my house!"

Rukia shrugged. "Sure."

Together they walked off, leaving behind the indescribable chaos in the classroom.

* * *

"So..." Orihime sighed, dragging the 'O' vowel for a while to make the word stretch on. "Are you stoked for Christmas?" Orihime almost bit her tongue, remembering what happened last year, but when Rukia smiled her fears were put to rest...At least for a while.

"Actually, I'm really looking forward to it." Rukia said with a sweet smile. "Last year, Ichigo showed me the happy side of Christmas. I'll never forget what he did for me. Now I can be happy with everyone else...But..." She trailed off, looking to one side and losing her smile.

"What's wrong?" Orihime asked fearfully.

"Oh, it's nothing...It's just..." She trailed off again. She let out a deep sigh and stopped to sit down in the gutter. "I feel bad about making Ichigo work so hard...He put his heart and soul into making me happy last Christmas. He spent everything he had to pay for the party; he even ducked into his savings. He put so much work into it that he barely got any sleep and worst of all, my own selfishness caused everyone around me to feel just as bad...Especially Ichigo."

"But Ichigo's the kind of guy who would do that for anyone. That's why he's such a good friend. He goes out of his way for others because it makes him feel better. There is nothing to feel guilty about." Orihime tried to steer Rukia away from depression.

"Even so...I just can't let it go. I have to make it up to him somehow..." Rukia gazed down at her feet. "That's the problem though...I can't think of any way to possibly repay him for his kindness..."

"Well," Orihime mused, placing a finger on her chin. "Why don't you throw a party for him this time? It worked for you, I'm sure if Ichigo had a party in his honour it would really make his day!"

Rukia grinned. "Yeah, you're right. I'll put on a party so great he will forget all his troubles and this time he won't even have to lift a finger! I'll organise it all!" She jumped up and hugged Orihime. "Thanks! You're a real life saver!"

Orihime giggled innocently before adding. "But Rukia, I didn't rescue you...I just gave you an idea."

Rukia sweat dropped but tried to appear oblivious to the stupid remark.

They resumed the walk to Orihime's house and then spent the day inside as the weather became bitter with blizzard-like weather outside.

* * *

Ichigo walked home alone. He was covered in bruises and cuts from his senseless battle with Ishida.

_Damn Uryu! If he hadn't invaded my dreams this never would have started. Anyway, all he had to do was beg for forgiveness and then we wouldn't have had to fight. _

Soon his mind drifted to more sombre thoughts. Rukia had not shown up at school today and he had already rang the hospital who told him Rukia had been released early in the morning. If they released her so early it meant her injuries weren't severe, so she could have still made it to school...But she never arrived.

That meant she might have been upset and if that were the case-

Images of Rukia's numerous sobbing fits during the last holiday season began to drown out his thoughts and a dark wave of guilt swept over him.

_Damn it! I have to find Rukia and make her feel better. She must be mad at me for pushing her out the window. But it wasn't my fault! Well, maybe it was, but I didn't mean to hurt her!_

His mobile started ringing and he snatched the little device out of his pocket with military-grade reflexes. It was Orihime calling. He pressed the answer button and placed the phone against his face.

"Hello?"

"Hi Ichigo! It's just me, Inoue calling. In case you were wondering, Rukia is at my house at the moment. She said she wanted to stay the night if that's ok?"

"Sure it is. I'm not her mother. If she want's to stay, then let her." Despite acting positive, Ichigo felt terrible. He felt sick to his stomach, as if he had just been punched right in the gut. Rukia didn't want to come home...That was a bad sign. Ichigo bowed his head. "She can stay. But, just tell her I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?" No reply came. "Hello? Ichigo are you still there? Ichigo?"

* * *

Orihime set the phone down and frowned. "Well that was weird."

"What happened?" Rukia cried.

"He said he was sorry. Why would he say that?"

Rukia averted her gaze and groaned. "Is he mad at me?"

"Huh? No! He said it was fine for you to stay here! Now come on, I'll make us something delicious!" Orihime's hyperactive excitement wasn't enough to raise Rukia out of her pit of despair.

Also, she was distracted by someone outside yelling.

Together the two girls approached the window and squinted through the blizzard to find Ichigo standing out in the cold holding up a bouquet of flowers. He was yelling something but the closed windows muffled it and made his words indecipherable.

Rukia pushed the window open and shielded her face form the gust of wind and snow that blew into her face. She shielded her face with a hand while focusing her gaze on the desperate boy outside.

"Rukia! I'm sorry if I upset you! I promise it was an accident! I didn't mean to hurt you! I know I can be a jerk sometimes but please remember that I love you! I'll do anything to get you feel the same way again!"

Rukia was unsure whether to blush or cry. She was confused as to what he was worried about, but this display of affection was astounding. It made her heart warm, even against the icy winds and snow that brushed against her.

Ichigo was slowly becoming less visible as the snow thickened its fall.

Orihime frowned, her expression one of concern. "It's not safe for him to be out there in the snow. He'll catch his death!"

Rukia sighed. "And he's doing it all for me." Her cheeks were now glowing a deep red. She was overcome by Ichigo's determined spirit. It was inspiring and also heart-warming. She just wanted to run out there and hug him, to make him feel needed again. She turned to run but before she even made it to the door she heard a deafening 'Bang'.

"Oh, shit!" Orihime cried. "Rukia! Hurry!"

She ran over to the window only to find the spot where Ichigo was once standing was now a crater in the snow. A car was now parked a few metres away.

Rukia slowly pieced it together. "Oh god, not again! Ichigo!" She rushed outside and began searching through the thick snow for the unlucky Romeo. Orihime joined the search but even so it took them ten or twenty minutes to eventually find him in a pile of snow.

His eyes were half open and his head was swaying from one side to the other. "Roses...Roses..." His left hand was twitching as if he had Parkinson's. Clenched in his bruised knuckles was the bouquet of snow-dusted roses he had been carrying.

He dazedly offered them to Rukia who tried to reclaim them but struggled to relinquish them from Ichigo's hands. She grunted with effort as she tried to individually pry his fingers away. "Come on...Give me the flowers Ichigo! Give them to me!" She snarled as she tried to wrench them from his powerful grip but it soon became apparent that they weren't going anywhere.

Rukia sat back in the snow and sighed. "They're frozen into his hand."

Orihime clasped her hands together and tucked them under her chin, her head tilted to one side. "How romantic."


	3. Sex, Sneezing and Sickies

3.

Together Orihime and Rukia had carried Ichigo inside and propped him up on the couch. They had wrapped many blankets around him to fight off the bitter cold that had sunk into his skin and made it a light blue colour. The flowers were still trapped in his vice-like grip for several hours.

Rukia decided to sleep on the floor nearby, just to keep an eye on him. Orihime was reluctant but decided it was better to be safe than sorry when someone had just played chicken with a car and lost. She withdrew into her bedroom and didn't come out again all night.

_At least someone can get to sleep..._

Rukia thought to herself as she stared aimlessly at Ichigo's face. Even when he was unconscious the ever-frozen scowl remained. It brought a tiny smile to her face and she sank back into her makeshift bed which was a sleeping bag enveloped in extra blankets. She laid on her back, staring up at the ceiling with half-closed eyes, counting sheep (Sheep that inevitably got ran over.)

Soon enough she drifted off. Her dreams were of Ichigo.

When the sun rose in the morning Rukia found her self rising as well. Orihime's door was still closed and the gentle sound of snoring could be heard. It had never occurred to her that Orihime snored but the evidence was there.

As she climbed out of the nest of ruffled blankets she caught sight of something on the floor between her and her unconscious friend. She crawled over to get a closer look and realised they were the flowers. Ichigo's hand had opened at some point in the night, allowing the bouquet to clatter to the floor.

They were wet with melting ice and the petals were sagging from the water absorbed through them. Still, Rukia hugged them to her heart and felt an intense warmth. She leaned forward, bringing her face closer to Ichigo. When she was barely a hair's breadth from contact she instinctively flinched and jumped away. She looked around and giggled nervously.

_Don't worry. Ichigo is not even awake. It's not like he'd throw up on me again._

Rukia leaned forward again and was about to kiss him when she felt a tickling sensation in her nose. She sniffed three times in a row and then the feeling shifted. She shrugged it off and moved closer until her face was just above his.

Then her body seized up, her heart stopped and she felt something stirring up inside of her. Her skin was tingling and...

"Ah, Achoo!"

Rukia jumped back and yelped like a dog around a vacuum cleaner. She stared at Ichigo with wide eyes, noticing the mess on his face. It made her feel sick and she began running around the apartment in search of tissues or paper towels or something.

She found a box of tissues on the kitchen counter and brought them over to Ichigo who was still resting. She began wiping his face, trying desperately to clean up the mess made by her untimely sneeze. By the time she was done there was a pile of scrunched up tissues littered around them and Rukia was panting out of panic. She was terrified that Ichigo would wake up before she was done and so she hurried along wiping away the mess.

Rukia glared down at Ichigo's face and frowned. "Geez, how much did I get on his face? Now it's all sticky..."

There was an odd, high pitched sound that came from nearby. It was a short, sharp note that sounded utterly ridiculous, something that even Michael Jackson would struggle to achieve.

Rukia's skin became riddled with goose-bumps and she let out a powerful shudder before slowly craning her head over her shoulder.

Orihime was standing a few metres away, her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide.

"Oh, good morning Orihime. I kind of made a mess with Ichigo but I'll clean it up." Rukia said innocently. Unfortunately those words had far worse implications to Orihime who let out a horrified squeal.

"Rukia! How could you? And in my apartment!"

Rukia averted her gaze. "I'm sorry...I...I just couldn't help it. I couldn't keep it in any longer."

"Eww! That's disgusting!" Orihime made a dry retching sound and turned away for a second. "I never thought you were like that..."

"Huh? What do you mean 'like that?'?" Rukia pouted. "It's a natural thing."

Orihime made a purely disgusted face. "What are you, an animal?"

"Hey! Don't act all high and mighty! You've done it to me plenty of times before!" Rukia roared defiantly.

Orihime stepped back and gasped. "Such lies! How dare you say that about me!"

"Oh, don't play innocent with me! We all know you've done it heaps of times! I've seen you!"

Orihime screamed. "Get out! Get out you filthy, filthy girl!" She jabbed a finger at the door and from the furious look in her eyes it was best to leave her.

Rukia trudged outside and stopped halfway down the stairs. "Geez, all that just for a sneeze? What is wrong with her?" She shook her head and set off home, kicking a can down the road in a clichéd manner.

"Hmm, she was right about a Christmas party though...It's my turn to show him the fun side of Christmas." She strolled off down the street, taking the time to mentally sort out her problems...and boy were there a handful of those.

As soon as she got home she rifled through her cupboard/home in search of her 'wallet'. Technically speaking Rukia's 'wallet' was merely an assorted mess of coins and notes scattered about under the mattress. She picked out all she could and then sat down on the mattress with a frown.

"I need help with this party...But Orihime probably wont help now...I need someone else...Someone who really knows the meaning of the word party..." Rukia gazed up at the roof with a finger on her chin.

* * *

MOMENTS LATER

"Sure Rukia-Chan, we'll be glad to help!" Kyouraku tipped his hat to her and then nudged the buxom woman by his side. "Right?"

Matsumoto giggled cheerfully and jumped up and down on the spot like a girl several hundred years younger. "Of course! I love parties, but Captain Hitsugaya is too stingy to let me throw them around here."

Kyouraku nodded, groaning with resentment. "Yama-ji is also against most parties so I have to throw mine in secret. But in the World of The Living we are free to do whatever we want!"

Rukia clapped her hands and smiled. "Great! Now I need you guys to sort out as much as you can. I'll help where possible but for now I have other things to attend to."

"Don't worry; we'll get straight to it. But um...First things first, we need to get some time off." Kyouraku glanced over to Matsumoto who winked at them both.

"Got'cha covered!"

* * *

Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya approached his barracks and found a hand-written note on the door. The childish scribble could only have come from Matsumoto's drunken state. He reluctantly tore the note from the door and brought it closer to his face.

"Gone fishing." He read aloud. He scrunched it up and threw it away. "God dammit! How can she be skipping out on work at a time like this? Now I have to do everything myself!" He punched the door, lightly though because he didn't want to pay for any damages. "I swear when she gets back from…" He couldn't help but sigh at the stupid excuse, "Fishing...I will have her head!"

He headed inside and sat down at his desk, staring at the stacks of papers which obscured the view of most of his office bat a window to his left which showed the bright blue sky.

He cursed under his breath and gazed longingly at the golden orb in the sky. He then glanced back to the paperwork. "Fuck this." He leaned back in his chair and put his feet up. "I'm gone fishing too."

* * *

Nanao approached her captain, who was slumped over beside a tree. "Captain? What are you doing out here?" She got no response out of him. "Hey! Don't ignore me!"

"Oh, my sweet darling Nanao...I feel sick."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "What have you done now?"

"I don't know...I think I should get some rest..."

A vein popped up on Nanao's forehead. "All you do is rest! Even when you are healthy!"

"Please don't yell...It hurts my head." He whined.

Nanao calmed down and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Do you want me to get some medicine?"

"No...No I don't want you fussing about over little old me...I'll get it." Kyouraku staggered to his feet with slightly exaggerated cries of pain. He swayed to one side and almost fell but leaned against the tree for support.

"Captain you are too ill to go get medicine! Let me-"

"No, I want to get some fresh air..." Kyouraku started to open a senkai gate.

"You've been outside all day! And besides, what are you opening a senkaimon for? The storehouse is just over-"

"I heard of something called a 'pharmacy' in the World of the Living. It has all sorts of medicine there. I will check it out for myself."

"But-" The senkai gate closed before she could finish. Nanao shrugged her shoulders and trudged off. "That fool...He never knows when to stop."

On her way back to the barracks she passed Matsumoto who was skipping down the path with a slight whiff of sake about her. She waved to Nanao and chirped an over-excited greeting.

Nanao waved back timidly.

"What are you doing Nanao?"

She sighed and averted her gaze. "My captain is sick. I want to get some medicine for him."

"Huh? Sick? But we were gonna go fishing together." Rangiku shrugged it off and continued skipping.

Nanao remained fixed in place, her blood boiling over. "That bastard! He was going fishing! I'll get him for that! He actually made me feel sorry for him and it was all a lie! I will never live this down!" She clenched a fist and roared to the heavens, "You can sleep with the fishes for all I care you ignorant, lazy, arrogant son of a bitch!"

* * *

The three shinigami met up back in Karakura. Rukia bowed before them and gave her thanks. "Thank you so much. I cannot do this alone."

"No problem. I usually come down here at around this time to buy stuff. The Christmas shopping is awesome here!" Matsumoto went off track a bit and Kyouraku had to bring her back to her senses with a subtle elbow to the side. She suddenly looked around dazedly as if she had just woke up.

"Don't get carried away. We have a duty to throw the best party ever...for Rukia and Ichigo's happiness." Kyouraku winked at Rukia.

"W-What's that supposed to mean?" She asked defensively.

"Nothing, nothing. I was just...Never mind. You go do what you need to do and leave the party to us!"

"But-" Kyouraku and Matsumoto both pushed Rukia back, leading her out to the middle of the street. They then spun her around several times before flash stepping out of sight. Rukia looked around dazedly for a while before giving up on the futile search and instead putting her mind to more pressing matters.

"Hmm, what should I get Ichigo? I don't even really know what he's into...Maybe I should raise it in conversation somehow?"

* * *

Ichigo sat with Rukia at the dinner table. His head was bandaged up and he had to have soup because his jaw hurt too much to eat any solid food. He should have gone to the hospital, but he didn't want to, insisting that spending time with Rukia would make him feel better.

Such kind words had made her feel all warm and fuzzy inside and only instilled her desire to throw the greatest party ever, as a way of thanks for everything he had done. For his gentle kindness, his protection and simply for being a good friend.

"So..." Rukia muttered, cutting off Ichigo's noisy slurping, "What are you hoping to get for Christmas?"

Ichigo thought for a moment only to come up dry. "I have no idea. I don't really know of anything I want that much..."

Rukia cursed inwardly. She had to keep trying. "Suppose someone put a gun to your head and asked what you wanted for Christmas what would you say?"

Ichigo stared blankly at her, his spoon held frozen halfway between the bowl and his mouth. "That's a weird question."

"So what would you say?" Rukia insisted, her voice going deeper with urgency.

"Um...Probably not to be shot..." Ichigo said jokingly.

"I'm serious!" Rukia snapped, rising from the table, surprising herself. She coughed nervously and sat back down. "Excuse me..."

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, why?" Rukia replied hesitantly.

"You seem...I don't know, a bit...I can't describe it."

"Weird?" Rukia suggested."

"Yeah, what's up?" Ichigo pressed.

Rukia wasn't sure how to answer. After an agonising silence she whispered self-consciously, "The roof?" She could feel a sweat drop on the back of her head as well as see the one on Ichigo. She shook her head in shame and dropped her chin on the table.

"You know you can tell me anything right?"

Rukia sighed. "Yes."

"Well then tell me what's the matter with you? I can help you, remember last year? I got you through that didn't I?" Ichigo took up Rukia's hand and squeezed it gently. "I don't like seeing you upset, so let me help you." He paused for a moment before adding, "Please?"

"Ok." Rukia sniffed. She took a deep breath and then stared squarely at Ichigo. "If a man put a gun to your head and asked you what you wanted for Christmas-"


	4. Humilitation and Q&A

4.

Last night's interrogation had failed to procure a proper answer. No matter how many times she asked, Ichigo only gave vague, incomplete answers.

"I have no idea. That would be one of those things you could only answer on the spot, like what you favourite child is. No-one can answer that question until a gun really is put to their head..."

That was Ichigo's way of ending the relentless onslaught of questions (All of which were the same hypothetical.) It had stopped her for the rest of the night, and although it had not solved her problem it had given her an idea.

"Hey Ichigo! Let's go Christmas shopping together!" Rukia beamed, rising far too early for the berry-head's liking. He groaned irritably and rolled over in his bed, simply ignoring her. Rukia sighed and contemplated Plan B.

She slid into the bed next him and shoved her face barely an inch away from his. "Hey, Ichigo." She whispered.

His eyes barely opened but the blurred image of Rukia's face so close to his forced him awake. He jumped back and cried out, falling off the side of his bed and knocking the back of his skull on the bedside table.

"Oh no! Not again?" Rukia dived onto the floor to help Ichigo up, obliviously landing on top of him in a position that could easily be misinterpreted.

And it did...

The bedroom door burst of its hinges as Isshin stormed through. "Ichigo I'm sick of your early morning antics! Learn to stay in your bed or I'll strap you down and-" He froze at the sight of the girl who was on all fours, right on top of Ichigo. His eyes went wide and his jaw dropped.

Rukia looked up, her cheeks burning bright red. "Uh...Good morning."

Isshin fainted, dropping like a bag of cement. He hit the floor with an even louder thud than his son, arousing the attention of the Kurosaki sisters. Their pounding little footsteps could be heard and Rukia instantly crawled under the bed out of sight.

The two girls entered the room and made shocked gasps at the sight of the two fallen family members.

Ichigo rose sharply, scaring the shit out the girls and making them both run into each other in their pitiful attempt to escape. They both collided with the floor and soon everyone was on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain except of course Rukia, who was merely hiding.

Twenty minutes later when the storm had passed, at least for a little while, Rukia crept out from under the bed only to confront Ichigo getting changed. The two met each others gazes, then both drifted down to his naked form and then they both screamed in perfectly scripted unison.

Rukia slithered back under the bed and Ichigo did his best to cover himself up from the front. Unfortunately, he didn't anticipate Yuzu to be barging through the door behind him. And Yuzu didn't predict the sight she would encounter within her older brother's room.

Another round of screams ensued and Ichigo roundhouse kicked the door, allowing it to slam into Yuzu and knock her out of the room before closing behind her. He then hurriedly tugged on a pair of jeans before his father ran in with a mouthful of curses and a bone to pick with his son.

Rukia withdrew further under the bed and tried as hard as she could to pretend she was somewhere else.

_Happy place, happy place, happy place...Ah, Chappy..._

Meanwhile, Ichigo endured the verbal punishment for the various accidents that had occurred that morning.

Yet another twenty minutes later when Rukia was certain the storm had passed she once again crawled out from under the bed. Ichigo was sulking while sitting on the windowsill. He didn't even glance at her as she emerged from her hiding place. He didn't even acknowledge her presence.

Rukia bowed her head. This was her fault. Once again she had caused him so much pain. Every year he had to put up with so much. It was almost always linked to her. She was as much to blame as his oddball family. This was why she had to make it up to him. This was why she needed to buy him the greatest gift of all, to make him feel the joy she did last year.

When she entered that big hall and the party started she felt a joy long buried within her. It had felt so good she wished it never had to end. She had to make Ichigo feel that joy now. It was her turn to host the best Christmas Party ever!

"Ichigo...I'm sorry for this morning, but do you still want to go shopping?"

Ichigo craned his neck to see her. "Might as well. I don't want to spend the day here with those freaks...Mind if we take the window?"

Rukia glared at her old nemesis, the window. It was mocking her with its silence. She scowled at the window but nodded regardless. Ichigo dropped down and waited for her. She 'accidentally' kicked the windowsill on her way out and dropped as gracefully as she could...On top of Ichigo.

Ichigo pried his head away from between Rukia's legs and coughed. "You were supposed to warn me first."

Rukia moved off of her friend and apologised. They clambered back to their feet and set off for the shops, where if all went well a lot of their problems would be solved..._If..._

Ichigo rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "I'm sorry I can't throw you another party this year...I used up so much money on the last one I'm still paying it back. I owe Orihime a fair bit as well. By the way, she seemed pretty angry when I woke up in her apartment yesterday. You know what that was about?"

Rukia looked around anxiously, her voice rising with an inflection. "Nope."

Ichigo nodded. "Hmm, maybe it was-"

"Don't say it!" Rukia snapped.

"I was just guessing." Ichigo grumbled.

"Well don't. Women aren't as easy to read as that."

Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Yeah it happens more than once a month." His voice dripped with sarcasm, but soon his nose was dripping blood after the vicious punch he received for his remarks.

Rukia instantly apologised and handed him a tissue to clean up the mess. "I'm sorry; I'm having a bad day today."

"You think you're having a bad day? I don't get to hide under the bed when things get heated. I have to sit there and take it!"

Rukia averted her gaze and choked back a flood of tears. He was right. She was so selfish, running away and leaving Ichigo to be humiliated and abused and god knows what else. She was overcome with guilt but her sadness must have been apparent as Ichigo draped an arm over her shoulder.

"Hey, don't get upset. I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at my stupid family. Now come on, let's go wash away our pain with senseless seasonal greed!"

Rukia couldn't help but be caught up in his excitement and they ran the next six blocks to the store, only to be worn out on arrival and have to walk through the large car park to the shopping centre.

They dragged themselves over to a pair of 'husband' chairs and sat down. Several husbands sat on the other chairs, barely staying awake while waiting for an eternity for their wives to exit the clothes stores, no doubt lugging ten bags for their faithful men to carry for them. It was the curse of all shopping centres, but at least they were comfy.

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh but when Rukia entered one of the ill-fated clothes stores he found himself biting his tongue. He cursed silently and waited. When she did come out she was one of eh few not carrying any bags. She frowned at Ichigo and then looked down at herself as if she had spilled something on her top.

"What's wrong?" Ichigo asked.

"They don't have anything in my size!" Rukia huffed, crossing her arms.

One of the husbands, a fat middle aged man started to laugh, overhearing their dilemma, but then his wife waddled out. She was shockingly obese and used a walking stick to keep herself up. "Nothing in my size." She murmured ashamedly.

Ichigo raised his middle finger to the husband and then ran off, instinctively grabbing Rukia's hand and dragging her along. He took no notice of it, but Rukia sure did, feeling an incredible warmth from his touch and a reassuring presence. She was blushing but Ichigo was too pre-occupied with ducking and weaving between mobs of shoppers to pay any heed to it.

When he finally stopped he looked down at their clasped hands and he too blushed. He shied away and rubbed the back of his neck. "He, he...Sorry."

Rukia's whole face went red. "No problem."

The two of them stood there awkwardly, waiting for the blood to stop rushing to their heads. When at last it stopped they resumed their Christmas shopping. Rukia payed close attention to the things Ichigo looked at but it seemed there was no way to figure out what he wanted.

It was then that the idea returned to her. "Ichigo, I'll meet up with you later. I'm going to check out that clothes store." Ichigo nodded and walked off.

Rukia watched him and then sprinted off to a seemingly abandoned store in the furthest corner of the centre. It looked like a store-room from a distance but up close a small cardboard sign could be seen.

'Modern and Ancient Weapons: Hire and sale' was written in black marker which had slightly smudged in some places.

Rukia cautiously stepped through the door and a little bell above the doorway rang. Rukia jumped, startled, but giggled nervously when she realised it was just a bell.

An old man with a grey beard which almost reached the floor approached her. "We don't sell handbags here missy."

Rukia giggled again though this time in a cracking tone. "Excuse me; I've come here to peruse your selection of fine weapons."

The old man looked her up and down, shrugged and waved a hand to the right hand side of the room. "Swords and ancient weapons are over there, the gun rack is on the other side. Give me a shout if you need anything." He hobbled off behind the counter and started cleaning a combat shotgun.

Rukia edged over to the swords first and noticed a pure white katana with a length of ribbon on the handle. It looked exactly like her own zanpakuto, Sode no Shirayuki. She admired the mortally-crafted weapon and noticed the price-tag. It was dirt cheap.

"Oh that's bullshit!" Rukia yelled a bit too loud for comfort.

The old man emerged from the shadows behind her. "What's wrong missy?"

"Huh? Oh, it's just that this sword is so exquisitely crafted, yet it is so cheap. The maker must be angry at how little his work is being sold for." Rukia lied.

"Hmm, it looks pretty, but the blade is weak. You might dazzle an opponent with that thing but try and slice his arm off and it'll break against his bones."

Rukia took a step back away from the increasingly creepy old man. "Well...You learn something everyday don't you?"

An awkward silence began.

When she was done she wandered around aimlessly, trying to find Ichigo. She cursed the fact she didn't work out a meeting place because now she had to walk around the entire centre in search of him.

After an hour she headed to the outside areas and passed a liquor store with two familiar friends inside.

Matsumoto left Kyouraku at the counter while she went to greet Rukia. "Hey, fancy meeting you here! So have you bought a present for Ichigo yet?"

Rukia looked away. "Well, you see..."

"Oh, guys are easy to shop for!" Matsumoto bellowed. "A guy will accept just about anything as long as you give him a kiss along with it. Oh and dress sexy, that always works."

_"Ichigo, I've got an extra special present for your birthday." Rukia said in a seductive tone. She walked into the room dressed in lingerie and carrying a tiny wrapped present. She sat on his lap while he opened it. _

_Ichigo frowned. "Is this...A roll of sticky tape?"_

_Rukia leaned over and whispered in his ear. "I have another present for you..." She then started to undress. _

Rukia frowned, her cheeks turning red. "Um, I don't think he'd like that."

Matsumoto gasped. "He's not gay is he?"

"What? Of course not! I'm just saying that kind of..._present_...Isn't really the thing he'd like. I want to get him something special."

"What about some good wine?"

"He's a minor." Rukia explained, deadpan.

"Well, what about...A pet?" Matsumoto suggested.

Rukia placed a finger to her chin. "A pet..."

_"Ichigo, Ichigo, Open your present!" Rukia bounced up and down excitedly._

_"Ok, ok, calm down." Ichigo reached for the oddly wrapped present which mysteriously walked away from him. "Did it just move?"_

_"No." Rukia responded swiftly. She brought it over to Ichigo and handed it to him. "There."_

_Ichigo started to unwrap it when he drew his hand back and cried out. "Ah! It bit me!"_

_"Well-" Rukia had no time to explain as the rabid little puppy latched onto him and started mauling him. _

Rukia went pale. "I'll think about it."

Matsumoto sighed. "Well, we still have a lot to buy before Christmas so we had better get going. Good luck finding a present!"

Rukia waved them off and sat down on a bench. Her head rolled to one side and she spotted Ichigo up the far end of the outer shopping area. She smiled wickedly and raced towards him.

* * *

Ichigo walked casually down the path keeping a keen eye out for Rukia. No doubt she was looking for him too. He strolled down the sheltered pathway checking each shop he passed before moving on. It was irritating and tiring but he had to find her before he could leave.

He round a corner into an open area and stopped by the large fountain to have a quick rest down. He sighed heavily and spent a few minutes searching for her, but to no avail. When his legs were no longer sore he got back up and resumed searching on foot.

When passed another store he noticed a blur of movement and spun around to check what it was. Before he could focus on it he felt something pressed against the back of his head. It was cold and hard, like steel. He was still uncertain but when he heard a loud click he became fully aware that it was a gun.

People all around him were screaming and diving to the ground or running. Ichigo got down on his knees and started trembling. "Hey, I don't want any trouble! Please don't hurt me!"

"I'll let you go...If you answer a question for me."

"S-Sure! Just please don't shoot!"

"Alright kid...What do you want for Christmas?"

Ichigo's eyes widened. "I, uh...I don't know."

The gun was pressed harder against his skull. "Answer!" The assailant snarled.

Ichigo was sobbing now. "Please! I'm begging you!"

"What about a pet?"

"What?"

"A pet! Do you like pets?" The gunman roared.

"I guess so." Ichigo answered submissively. "Just let me go!"

"Wait; are you a cat or a dog person?" The assailant asked menacingly. When Ichigo didn't answer the maniac screamed the question in his ear.

Ichigo cried out through the tears. "I like puppies!"

"Very well, Merry Christmas." The gunman bolted off.


	5. Puppies, Pain and Parties Spoiled

5.

Rukia giggled excitedly as she skipped down the empty paths. She threw her balaclava in a bin and tucked the gun inside her shirt and made her way back to the weapons store.

_I know what to get him for Christmas now! I'm so excited! I just want to go buy him a puppy right now!_

On her way to returning the gun she passed a pet store. She stopped dead in her tracks and backed up to the entrance. She saw row after row of puppies in glass enclosures. In an instant she found herself walking inside, singing 'How much is that puppy in the window' embarrassingly loud. She stood by the puppies and examined them one by one.

"Too big." She sighed at a Rottweiler pup.

"Too...Cartoony." Rukia passed a Chihuahua.

"Too scrunched up." She muttered as she stared at a pug.

"Has the word shit in its name." Rukia groaned. Guess what that one was.

Next she passed a Jack Russel that was eviscerating a squeaky toy. She frowned at it only to be barked at by the tiny psychopath. "Too homicidal..."

She moved along to the next section where her eyes fell on a cute little ball of white fluff. "Aww! It's so cute! He's perfect- Oh, it's a rabbit." She sighed and returned to the puppies. She crouched down to see the lower row of dogs for sale.

"Can I help you?" A sweet innocent voice chimed in from nearby.

Rukia looked up but saw nothing. When she looked down lower she noticed a small blonde girl standing nearby. She only looked around ten or twelve years old. She was cradling a rabbit which she placed inside one of the empty cages.

"Hello, I'm looking for a little puppy."

"Well, this all of them around here." The waved her index finger in the general area of the cages. "Anything in particular?"

Rukia frowned.

_Shit! I don't know what kind of dogs Ichigo likes. _

"Well...It's for a guy." Rukia explained simply. "What kind of dogs do they like?"

The girl thought about it for a moment. "Well, they usually go for guard dogs. Big tough ones like Alsatians or Rottweilers."

Rukia had the vision from before where Ichigo was mauled by a furry ball of wrapping paper. She shuddered and shook her head. "No, I'm looking for something a bit friendlier..."

"Well Labradors are always good. They are really helpful dogs as well. They can help blind people and police and do all sorts of stuff!" The girl pointed to a cage in the far right corner. "This one is on special today."

Rukia felt her heart melt at the sight of the little golden pup. It was sleeping soundly inside it's cage. Rukia pressed her hands over her heart and moaned. "He's so cute!" She whispered to the girl.

"I know, it's a shame no-one has bought him. Today is his last day here. If no-one buys him they'll take him away and turn him into dog food." The girl was on the verge of tears.

Rukia felt sorry for the little thing and instantly took out her wallet. "I'll save him- I mean take him!"

"Alright then." The girl unlocked the cage and gently lifted the puppy out. She held it up to her face and suddenly her body went all relaxed as if she had just been drugged.

Rukia waited for a moment before asking for the dog. "Ok, can I have him now?"

"Yeah sure just...Just..." The girl trailed off. She was staring deep into the little Labrador's eyes. Tears started to slide down her face. "I...I can't."

"But...I want to buy him."

"He's telling me to keep him." The girl whispered softly.

"Huh? He didn't say anything."

The girl hugged the pup close to her chest and turned away. "He did so speak to me! I'm a dog whisperer!"

"Well that's all well and good but I want to buy that dog, so can I please have him?"

"No! He said he doesn't like you! He says you look scary!" The girl was yelling now.

"He...Hates me?" She suddenly felt terribly upset yet she had no idea why. "I'm not scary! I promise I'm a good owner!" Rukia pleaded. She opened her arms wide, her jacket opening up to reveal the holster strapped to the side of her chest.

The pet store girl stared at the gun and dropped the dog. Her jaw dropped and her eyes fixated on the weapon. "R-R-Robber! You're a robber!"

Rukia clenched her jacket shut and looked around nervously. "No, no you've got it all wrong. This is a misunderstanding-"

"Don't shoot the puppies! They are innocent!" The girl cried.

"I would never shoot a puppy!" Rukia cried defensively.

"So it's the kittens you're after? Oh god no, not the kittens?"

Rukia pinched the bridge of her nose. "What the hell is going on here?" She glanced up to the girl. "I'm not here to kill any pets. I didn't come here to steal anything either. I just want-"

"So it's me you're after?" The girl asked, tears welling up in her eyes. "What did I do wrong? Just because I got attached to some of the pets. I don't deserve to die for that do I?"

"I'm not going to kill you but if you don't settle down I might have to use force!" Rukia hoped the shallow threat would make her comply but instead a different result occurred.

The girl pressed a button near the counter and an alarm went off. Rukia spun around and aimed to leave before she got into a lot of trouble but she was tackled by the little girl. The two of them went rolling down the aisle and the girl wrestled the gun out of her holster.

"The cops are on the way right now."

"Let go of me!" Rukia roared.

The girl ignored her and yanked the gun free. "You monster! You're as bad as that guy with the orange hair!"

"Ichigo?" Rukia asked rather loudly.

"Rukia!" Someone roared from outside.

Rukia snatched the gun from the girl and rolled into a crouch. She pointed the gun towards the large mob outside expecting to see armed policemen. "You'll never take me alive pigs!" She roared for some reason that was beyond her.

Ichigo was standing at the front of the mob. It was he who called her name and he was trying to get inside. The girl noticed him and her eyes went wide.

"You two are in league with each other? I should have known! Once he's done with them you kill them and dump the bodies!"

"Are you insane?" Rukia asked.

"Insanely in love with animals!" The girl cried before head butting Rukia. She once again took the gun from Rukia and pointed it at Ichigo. "Don't come any closer! Your partner in crime is going down!"

Ichigo rammed the bars with his shoulder. "Let me in you stupid little girl! I'm sick of your crap!"

"Stay back!" The girl screamed. She accidentally squeezed the trigger and a deafening boom made everyone clear out of the way.

Ichigo stood still for a moment before slowly collapsing. He hit the ground with a heavy thud and the pet store girl screamed.

"Oh my god! I didn't mean to...What have I done?"

The bars suddenly broke apart, sliced into tiny pieces by an unknown force. The girl looked around nervously and started crawling under the counter. "Ah! His ghost is trying to kill me!" She cowered under the desk while Rukia was suddenly lifted by an invisible saviour and carried off before the cops arrived.

* * *

On a nearby rooftop Ichigo sat with Rukia. His stern expression reminded her of her older brother's, but she deserved a scolding for what happened. She was responsible for ruining many people's Christmas.

"Rukia what the hell were you doing with a gun? You could have been arrested and put in jail for a long time! And not to mention flashing a gun around in a shopping centre! Do you know how much trouble you're in now? They have your face on CCTV and the cops will no doubt be after you!"

Rukia looked away. "I'm so sorry..."

"And now they've taken my body to the hospital! I have to sneak in there now and steal it back from them. Grr, what on earth were you thinking?"

Rukia hugged knees and sighed. "I only wanted to make you happy..."

"Do I look happy? Fuck! This couldn't have gotten any worse! My face is going to plastered all over the news saying that I've been shot and killed back at that pet store! All my family and friends are going to be so upset on Christmas day. It's fucking ruined!"

Rukia bowed her head. She said nothing.

"It's Christmas Eve for god's sake! I shouldn't be this bloody angry! I should be at home enjoying myself and getting caught up in the Christmas spirit!"

Ichigo took a deep calming breath and groaned. "Look, let's just get out of here. I'm sick of this place already."

Ichigo flash stepped down to the street below and Rukia followed, but as soon as her feet touched ground she ran off on a different path. It wasn't until Ichigo was home that he noticed Rukia wasn't there with him.

"What the- Where is she?" Ichigo started to back-track, yelling out her name as if he were searching for a lost dog. "Rukia? Rukia? Rukia where are you?"

* * *

Tatsuki and Orihime sat together watching TV. Since Orihime had no parents and Tatsuki's mother and father were out at work the two decided to spend Christmas together. They flicked through channels and stopped on a news channel which showed footage from the Karakura shopping centre.

"What's this?" Tatsuki asked, turning up the volume.

A young female reporter stood outside a pet store which looked as if it had been bombed. "A crazed gunman entered the pet store and began threatening the staff with violence. The employee fought back but in the madness an innocent bystander was shot dead."

"Geez, that's a terrible way to start Christmas..." Tatsuki muttered.

A shot of the dead person flashed up on screen and both girls screamed. It was a long shot of two paramedics rolling a stretcher towards an ambulance. Although most was concealed by a white sheet the undeniable orange hair was instantly recognisable.

"No..."

"Ichigo can't be dead!" Orihime cried. "He just can't!"

The reporter had a grave expression on her face. "Security footage captured everything."

Blurry footage played of a blonde girl backing away from someone whose back was turned to the camera. It was a girl with black hair. The two were arguing, both yelling at each other although the sound was not good quality so nothing could be made out. Suddenly the two were wrestling on the floor and the other person's identity was revealed.

"Rukia?" They both gasped in unison.

The two fought on for a while until the shot changed to one in another corner of the room, this time showing the fighters and also the front of the store where Ichigo was trying to breach the iron bars which kept him stuck outside.

There was a blur of movement and then a big muzzle-flash. In the next instant Ichigo dropped like as sack of bricks. Everyone started running about like headless chickens and then the there was another explosion. The bars were thrown inwards and then the camera clicked off.

"This can't be real!" Tatsuki whispered. "Why would Rukia shoot him? They love each other don't they?"

"I hope it's not real..." Orihime whimpered, wiping tears away. "I hope so..."

"The shooter is still at large but police have discovered a trail of mysterious shootings across town. It seems that numerous Santa decorations have been discovered with bullet holes in them. If the trail is anything to go by she is somewhere the town hall. If anyone has seen her or knows her whereabouts please contact the police at this number."

Tatsuki turned the TV off. She jumped to her feet and stared out the window. "This is crazy. We have to find Rukia and find out what's going on."

Orihime nodded slowly. "Ok."

"Now, they said she was near the town hall...But what would she be doing there? It's so far from Ichigo's house."

* * *

The halls were fully decked. Kyouraku and Matsumoto had spent hours on setting up so they could take the night off for some early celebrations for themselves. They had left the hall fully set for the party tomorrow so they wouldn't have to be stringing up tinsel with a hangover.

Rukia glared at the decorations as if each one were an insult to her. Her shoulders were heaving and she slowly stepped into the dimly lit room. Even without lights the sparkling tinsel and brightly coloured baubles and beads and everything else stood out like beacons in the night. To most it would be beautiful, but to Rukia it was an eyesore.

She approached a table covered in decorations and snacks. With a grunt of rage she tipped the table over, knocking everything to the floor. She then turned to the tinsel hanging from the walls and tore it down, hurling it across the room.

"Stupid Christmas!" Rukia growled, kicking over another table. "All it's ever brought me is pain!" She scowled at a plastic Santa standing several metres away. She roared insanely and drew her gun, opening fire on the jolly fat man.

"Merry Christmas? There is no merry Christmas! Everyone is mad at me! Everything I do fails miserably! I hate Christmas!" She snarled like a possessed demon as she opened fire on the tables set out before her, breaking the tables, smashing glasses and destroying everything her friends had worked so hard to set up.

When the room looked more like the aftermath of a tornado than a party and Rukia was a broken, exhausted mess she sat down in the centre of the room and sobbed. She cried herself to sleep, cold, alone, ashamed and more miserable than ever before.

Her Christmas Eve was not one of child-like anticipation and joy but one of crushing sorrow.

Well that was rather sad near the end there but don't worry, the warm fuzzy moments and funny stuff is still to come. I must admit I finished writing this story late Christmas Eve but things were quite busy so I never got around to publishing the last two chapters in time so here they are, nice and fresh for the boxing day sales! Only while stocks last!

Please review.


	6. Christmas Craziness and Happy Endings

6.

Today was the big day. December 25th, Christmas Day. All over the world children were reaching under their plastic trees or stockings to find out what the big red fatso had gotten for them (At the parent's expense of course...) Uncles and aunts and cousins and brothers and sisters all awoke in the same room, crammed together like the blocks in a game of Tetris. Jolly laughter and excited cries filled the air and unseasonable warmth spread all over despite the crisp layers of winter snow which coated half the world.

Everyone woke up to a packed house, presents, lavish breakfasts and holiday cheer...Except of course for an unlucky few.

* * *

Tatsuki's eyes drifted open lazily. She looked around at the unfamiliar area. It was not her bedroom and it wasn't Orihime's apartment either. No, this was a bus station. It slowly dawned on her that she had been searching for Rukia last night. The search had taken her nowhere and when she gave up she went to catch a bus home.

"I fell asleep here? It's a wonder I wasn't mugged...Geez, where the hell is Orihime? She was here with me last night."

The bright, cheery brunette creeped up on her and placed a Santa hat on her head before hugging her. "Merry Christmas Tatsuki!"

Tatsuki returned the favour and gave her a one-armed hug. "Merry Christmas to you too Orihime."

"I can't believe we fell asleep here!" Inoue chirped.

"Well, it was a rough night. We were exhausted. A shame we couldn't find Rukia though, I'm sure she needs some company right now..."

Orihime frowned. "I feel sorry for her...This time of year is not the same for her. It's upsetting and only reminds her of sad times. I should have been more considerate of her feelings but instead I kicked her out and yelled at her. I feel awful."

Tatsuki sighed. "That was dumb. No wonder she went crazy. I just hope she isn't alone right now. That would end terribly."

"You don't believe she killed Ichigo do you?" Orihime asked nervously.

"Of course not. There was no blood on him. It was scary at first but the second time we saw it you could tell there was something fishy about it. He probably just turned into a soul reaper or something."

"Wait a second! How long have you known-"

"Last year at the Christmas party. They were everywhere. You would have to be blind not to notice them." Tatsuki chuckled to herself. "You thought I was still in the dark about that, but I was sitting next to that weird guy with the hat and sandals. He was so drunk he didn't realize I wasn't a shinigami and explained everything."

"How come I don't remember that?"

"Oh you had your eyes on Ichigo the whole time. You wouldn't have noticed if your hair caught fire." The two girls both laughed at that, but after a moment Orihime caught on and started blushing.

"Hey!"

Tatsuki leaned back in the steel bench seat and sighed. "Well this year is a bit different huh? How many others do you think would be having such a messed up morning?"

* * *

Matsumoto and Kyouraku discovered the hall had been trashed. They only just glanced through the door which was barely hanging by a single hinge on an irregular slant. Several bullet holes were present in one of the wooden double doors.

Kyouraku caught a brief glimpse of the carnage inside and his heart skipped a beat. "Oh shit..."

"What? How bad is it?" Matsumoto asked.

"Well, everything is...Everything is...It's ruined." Kyouraku hung his head low and groaned. "We're screwed."

"You mean...We have to cancel the party?" Matsumoto gasped. Kyouraku's grave expression was answer enough. Matsumoto fought back tears. "Who did this?"

"I don't know, but it looks like we failed Rukia-Chan. We'll have to contact Soul Society and tell them it's off." A senkai gate opened behind them and they both shrieked.

"Ah crap they're already here!"

Several large shadows appeared through the blazing white light and Kyouraku stepped in front of them to block the way. "Hey guys! Merry Christmas!"

"Where's the sake? I'm so thirsty!" Ukitake tried to stumble through but Matsumoto joined in, blocking the way.

"Don't worry, there's lots of sake...Back...In...Soul Society..." She ad-libbed.

"But we came all the way here." Ukitake whined.

"Well, you see...The party has been re-located back to Soul Society." Kyouraku lied. "So, head on back and we'll be right with you."

"But-"

Kyouraku slammed the gate shut and dusted himself off while the gates vanished from sight. "Well that's that taken care of for now." He glanced back at the hall and frowned. "Rukia-Chan will be saddened by the news. I hope she understands..."

"Why don't we just have the party in Soul Society? Captain Hitsugaya always confiscates my booze and he hides it in a cellar out the back of his quarters. There should be enough to get everyone off their merry asses!"

Kyouraku smiled thinly. "Sounds great, but we should tell Rukia first."

Matsumoto nodded and together they ran off, unaware that the girl they sought after was already inside the hall.

* * *

The night before, Ichigo spent hours wandering around town, calling out for his missing friend. When he passed the hospital he snatched his body from the morgue and instantly returned to his search. He scoured the entire town, entirely on foot.

He did not have dinner that night and did not stop to drink, even when his throat was dry and coarse from the constant yelling. He rasped out her name and just kept walking.

It was not until the sun was down and the night was underway when he passed the town hall. He noticed several bullet-holes in the door and decided to check it out.

The door handle was cold to touch and he had to wrap his sleeve around his fingers before turning the knob. The door creaked and he jerked it open, oblivious to the snapped hinge that was holding it shut. The door swung on its side with a terrible grating sound.

He stepped into the darkness to discover a decorative massacre. What once would have looked like a festive party was now a disorganised mess.

Tables were knocked over. Food was scattered all over the place, buried under torn tinsel and smashed baubles. A Christmas tree had been sliced clean in half and then the branches all torn off, thrown about haphazardly. A life-size Santa doll had been shot to pieces.

He frowned at the Christmas carnage and stooped down to pick up a fragment of Santa's face, a jolly red cheek missing and his chin chipped and cracked. Only someone who was truly suffering would do such a thing, to destroy such a detailed and thoroughly set up party.

It could only have been one person. The one person he was hoping to find.

That very person was easily found. Rukia laid in the middle of the room, curled up in a tight ball, hugging herself to stave off the bitter cold which swept through the broken doors. Ichigo slowly approached her, on his way picking up a roll of wrapping paper which was sitting idly against one of the shattered tables.

Rukia was sound asleep but it was only half-past-eight. Her reign of terror must have exhausted her. She shivered and her skin went a paler shade as if her skin were coated in snow.

Ichigo unrolled the wrapping paper and laid it over her like a makeshift blanket.

* * *

On Christmas day, Rukia awoke to the sound of someone breathing softly. She opened her eyes only to be blinded by brightly coloured paper wrapped around her body. She pried it away but was still held down.

Someone lay beside her, hugging her close with one arm while the other enclosed around himself to keep his own body warm. Some snow had been blown in through the slightly opened door and a thin layer dusted the boy's hair. Despite this, the spikes of orange hair belonged to no other. The warm embrace she felt was that of Ichigo Kurosaki.

She was overcome with a strange sensation and she found herself speechless. All she could do was hug him back, regardless of whether the sleeping boy would ever feel it. It did not matter either way, as it was more of a way for her to drown out the suffocating depression which still consumed her heart.

"Ichigo...Thank you so much...I can't make it up to you for your kindness..." She smiled sweetly and laid a hand on his cheek, gently stroking it. She was surprised to get a reply from him.

"You already have." He whispered drowsily. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight. "Merry Christmas Rukia."

Rather than return the favour Rukia's eyes welled up with tears and she buried her head in his chest. The two held each other for so long it felt as if the entire day would be gone by the time they released themselves.

Rukia looked back on the damage she had done and sobbed. "I'm sorry. All I ever do is screw up. I can't do anything right no matter how hard I try. I have to rely on you for everything. I can't even buy you a present without making everything go wrong."

Ichigo chuckled to himself. "None of that matters to me. I couldn't care less if you can't buy me anything. To me your smile is the best present I can ever get. And besides, everyone needs help. No-one can cope with everything by themselves. We have friends so we can share the burden. When trouble is weighing you down a helping hand can help lift your spirits."

Rukia bowed her head and looked away.

"If you were this upset you should have told me. I could have stopped you from going on this...'rampage'...Who set this up anyway?"

"Captain Kyouraku and Matsumoto. I asked them to help plan a party to out-do the one you threw last year but...I just ruined it for everyone. Now there is no party, no presents and everyone thinks we're either dead or missing."

"Never mind. Kyouraku will understand, he's a good guy. As for my family and everyone else, we'll face them together and sort out this mess. We'll both shoulder the blame and guilt and get it over with so that we can enjoy the rest of the day, it's Christmas after all."

The two of them smiled shakily before getting up. They left the mess behind, deciding to clean it up later. For now they had more pressing matters to attend to.

* * *

Ichigo, seemingly raised from the dead, returned home to the stunned awe of his family. They pinched him and themselves to make sure they weren't dreaming and then a round of applause commenced as if e had just won an award.

He merely grinned at them and laughed as they filled him in on how worried they were and how they really believed he was dead and how sad they felt. They shared a group hug and then had breakfast. The whole time Rukia hung just out of sight, watching, listening, and sharing the joy. It was slowly returning to her, the intense feeling of happiness, and the otherworldly sensation as if the sun was blazing within her heart and warming her soul. That feeling she had at the party last year had returned and yet there was no party.

No, this was something more important than parties. No amount of decorations and food and wine could ever cause this joy. This was not caused by material goods...This feeling was love.

It had never been the party. The one thing that made her happy was merely being with Ichigo. He was the source of her joy. His confidence overflowed into those around him and made it impossible to feel sad in his presence.

Rukia sighed and headed up to his bedroom, awaiting his eventual return. She heard excited cries and sat down on the top of the steps, leaning forward enough to see the young Kurosaki twins opening their presents. Isshin then opened a large box which held a case of wine. Ichigo told a joke and then the two laughed.

Rukia grinned and placed a hand over her heart. Even when she was hanging on the edge of the heart-warming scene she could still feel the same uplifting sensation the others did. Merely watching it unfold was enough to raise her spirits.

When the presents were all opened Isshin took the girls out somewhere. Ichigo waved them goodbye and then climbed the stairs to his room.

* * *

Rukia was waiting in his bedroom, anticipating the door opening and the bright berry-head to walk through. He did enter almost immediately, his hands behind his back. He smiled warmly at Rukia.

"They went off to see an aunt. They won't be back for a while. In the mean-time, Merry Christmas!" Ichigo revealed a small gift wrapped in red and green paper. He chucked it at her and Rukia caught it with swift reflexes.

For a moment she just stared at the box, mesmerized by it, despite the simplicity. Ichigo rolled his eyes. "Aren't you gonna open it?"

Rukia woke up from the trance and carefully teased the paper away, uncovering a little black box with the logo of a small French character with a golden crown and dollar signs for eyes. Rukia looked up at Ichigo who was chuckling softly.

"I bought this from this little F.U.C.K.E.R who came knocking on my door a while ago. I hope you like it."

Rukia untied the small lace ribbon and pried the lid away. She gasped and took out the gift, raising it to her face. It was a small Chappy figurine with a French beret and a croissant. Rukia's eyes suddenly sparkled and a beaming smile appeared out of nowhere.

"Thank you Ichigo...I love it!"

Ichigo smirked. "I thought so. I'm glad you like it."

The two hugged each other and then Ichigo went to the door. "I'm going to get a drink of water. Be back in a second."

He disappeared leaving Rukia sitting on the bed with a vacant stare in her eyes.

_Ichigo got me such a wonderful present...I didn't get him anything...How selfish of me. I should have at least gotten him something...Anything...Even if it was a cheap little trinket it is still a gift. What am I going to do?_

She glanced over at a large empty box and a roll of wrapping paper. She had bought it a while ago under the intention of getting him something big. That had never succeeded and she never ended up buying the puppy. Now it was just a waste...

Unless...

* * *

"Rukia, where are you? I only went downstairs. Don't tell me you ran off again!" Ichigo put the half-empty glass of water down and cursed. He was about to leave when something caught his eye. "What the hell?"

A large box was sitting beside his bed. It was wrapped in simple Christmas paper and a white ribbon was wrapped around it. He approached it slowly and stared at the label. His name was written in a neat style.

"Hmm...Where did this come from?"

He undid the ribbon and tore at the wrapping paper. The box underneath was huge. It was almost the size of a dog kennel, but that made little sense to him. He wrenched the lid open and peered inside. It was too dark to see and so he stepped back.

He got the shock of his life when something sprang out. Rukia rose up out of the box with another white ribbon in her hair. She was smiling innocently at him and barely suppressed joyful laughter. "Merry Christmas Ichigo."

"What the..."

"I really wanted to buy you something, but that failed miserably, so instead your present is a merry little me for a Merry Christmas!" Rukia spread her arms wide and grinned. "Ta-dah!"

Ichigo smiled. "This is the best present I've ever had. Thank you Rukia..."

The moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. They both went down together and greeted captain Kyouraku and Rangiku who told them of a party in Soul Society.

Rukia and Ichigo exchanged glances and then shook their heads. "Nah. We'll just stay here."

"Well, suit yourself." Kyouraku bowed. "Merry Christmas."

"You too!" Ichigo called as the two shinigami passed through a senkai gate. When they were gone he and Rukia went back inside and rejoiced in each other's company. It may have been a bumpy ride, but in the end, it was still the best Christmas ever.

Aw, are you getting that warm fuzzy feeling inside? Well anyway I hoped you enjoyed the story even though it's slim pickings for reviews, but if the silent readers were entertained then I've done things right. So whether your Christmas was wild and wacky, cramped and crazy, sweet, bitter or even bittersweet I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas!

Thanks for reading! Please find the time to review. 


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